Zoom Out: The Value of Perspective
A birthday party, a little chaos, and a lesson in what truly matters.
The other day, I attended my seven-year-old grandson’s birthday party. He’s the eldest of four, with younger siblings who are almost 4 years, 2.5 years, and 7 months old. I also brought two more of my grandchildren—one who is almost 8 and another who is also almost 4. Add to that 15 of my grandson’s seven-year-old friends and several parents, and you can imagine the energy in the room.
My daughter-in-law decorated with help from her children and the two visiting cousins. Balloons, plastic tablecloths, Transformer signs, and a Happy Birthday banner filled the space. She didn’t just do it for the children—she did it with them. The children eagerly helped place decorations, set the table, and arrange the party favors, their excitement bubbling over as they took part in making the day special.
I would have done it myself because it’s easier.
I also would have bought a cake because it’s easier. But not my daughter-in-law.
When I offered to buy a cake, she waved me off, saying, “It’s okay. I want to try a new recipe.” She made a chocolate bundt cake the night before. The next morning, she topped the cake with three Transformers in primary colors and completed the look with tall, skinny candles. While she frosted the cake and prepared a big pot of chicken chili—my grandson’s favorite—her older children went outside to work with my son and husband.
Instead of having the children underfoot, she encouraged them to help build the sledding hill she had started earlier in the week. I’m not sure how much the children actually helped versus how much they played while my son and husband packed down the snow, shaped the track, and finished getting the property ready for the afternoon adventure. But she didn’t just make space for their energy—she gave them a way to contribute.
A Party in Full Swing
The festivities began with gifts and a treasure hunt. Each child walked away with a bag of candy and a Matchbox car, keeping the excitement going. Lunch followed, with chicken chili, toppings, and chips. I helped serve, trying to keep up. Most of the kids were great—patiently waiting for their turn.
One mom made a separate lunch right in the middle of it all. She pulled ingredients from my daughter-in-law’s fridge and made quesadillas just for her children. My daughter-in-law didn’t mind a bit.
Next came sledding and snowmobile rides on the hill adjacent to the house—the same hill the children had helped prepare that morning. I managed to escape the cold by staying inside with the baby—thankfully. He was wide awake, happy, and completely uninterested in napping.
Two of the other moms also stayed back, one with a baby and another with health challenges. We talked about how effortless my daughter-in-law made these parties look. One mom admitted she’d never go to this much effort for a birthday. She’d rather rent the rec center or have a pool party. The other, who had gone to college with my daughter-in-law, laughed and said, “Well, she is a parks and rec major.” We all agreed that made sense—because who would choose parks and rec with all the work that goes into that kind of job?
The Aftermath
After sledding, the kids dove into cake and ice cream floats, choosing from three soda options. They carried their sticky cups around the house, playing with toys, birthday gifts, and books pulled from the shelves. Somehow, there were no major disasters.
Eventually, the baby got fussy, so my daughter-in-law took him to a quiet room and put him down to sleep—right in the middle of all the noise. She didn’t complain that I hadn’t already made sure the baby had a nap.
Finally, the party wound down, everybody left, and we started cleaning up. I made some exhausted comment about the sheer chaos of the day.
My daughter-in-law stopped, looked at me, and said,
“I can clean up all of this chaos in about an hour. I can never give back a day of childhood.”
Why Perspective Is Important
Her words struck me.
It’s easy to focus on the mess, the exhaustion, or the sheer volume of work involved in events like these. But when you zoom out, you see the bigger picture.
This is why perspective is important—it shifts your focus from what feels overwhelming in the moment to what truly matters. Yes, the house was a temporary disaster. But in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the laughter, the friendships, the excitement, and the love poured into making that day epic.
Perspective changes everything.
